Tesco-Every Little Con Helps

Have any of you seen the Tesco advert where they tell you you can get 24 cans of Boddingtons for £10? And have any of you tried to get it? Well I'm here to tell you a cautionary tale. Beware of big fuckwits telling you they're here to save you money. They're not. They're just big fuckwits and that's all.

My mate set off today with twenty pounds of my personal fortune in his pocket with express instructions  to acquire for me my Christmas stock of beer. But when he later returned, it was only to inform me that the price had miraculously leaped from £10 to £14 for 24. Now even a lead lined, brain dead  city banker can work out (admittedly after a few liquid lunches and all on the tax payers bill), that that's an increase of £4. How can this be? Thinks I. How could the wonderful Tesco do this to me? Aren't they here to save me money?

Well in short, no. Tesco, it would appear, is out to hoodwink you. And when my mate questioned the sympathetic staff (heavy irony used here), about the discrepancy in price, he was told that this price only applied to 'Participating stores' my mate miss heard them and thought they'd said 'Piss taking stores'; they corrected him but I'm not altogether convinced that he wasn't right all along. Steve, not a person to walk away lightly, pressed the matter and repeated the adverts primary message. But they just kept on putting up little 'Participating Stores' looks to his every argument.

He then tried to plead to their better nature and explain about the twenty miles he'd travelled to get here and buy them. All entreaties fell on deaf ears. They had him and they knew it.

So, ladies and gentlemen, when looking to buy from Tesco; think once, think twice and then go somewhere else. They are coning, thieving, extracting little ass wipes and not to be trusted. Today Tesco made £8 from me --- I wonder how many more  millions of people will get hoodwinked by that particular advert and end up paying the extra money?  This year Tesco posted a pre tax profit of £3.4 billion, and I wonder how much of that profit was made up of the nasty little tricks they pull like the one they pulled on me today and will probably pull on others tomorrow.

Tesco, every little helps, they famously say. But what they don't say is who they help. I'd say £3.4 billion  answers that question, don't you?